too many things i wanna do… but can i?


quite simply put, i’ve too much to (want to) do, too little time.

i’ve decided from the start of the year that i want to make the most of my time this year. looking back into the past decade, i’ve come to realize that i had been wasting my life away. and you know what they say, time and tide waits for no man.

i guess part of the reason why i’m trying to pack everything in is because i’m trying too hard to make up for lost time, so much so that i’m not sure if i should take time off to rest or go ahead with filling up my free timeslots. these slots were initially kept free for meetups with friends… but it seems like everyone else is so busy living their own lives i hardly get to meet anyone else nowadays. i’m also not currently seeing anyone. so that explains the free slots. i assure you that i’m not trying to fill them up because i’m feeling lonely, i just feel that there is a need to make full use of my time. just… unsure if i can handle a packed schedule.

there’s something i need to decide on in 3 hours’ time. and when i’m being rushed to make a decision like that, i just can’t seem to think straight. i know it all boils down to how much i want it, but that is precisely the problem – i don’t know. i don’t know how much i want it, yet… and apparently not enough to know if it will be worth it. because it’s long term and it involves a certain amount of money that i will not be able to get back if i backed out halfway.

much as i want to keep everything i have now, i’m starting to doubt my ability to handle all of them.


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