it’s back – that thing i do.

for some reason i decided to be all weird… might be partly because of pride? or/and that stubborn part of me. amongst other reasons of course.

no idea why i always react like that. some kind of defense mechanism perhaps.

now i feel weird.


okayyy i thought that i should post something more light-hearted after all the mopey posts :x

this is a really cute i’m-in-love song! don’t think i’ve ever shared it here…

quite simply put, i’ve too much to (want to) do, too little time.

i’ve decided from the start of the year that i want to make the most of my time this year. looking back into the past decade, i’ve come to realize that i had been wasting my life away. and you know what they say, time and tide waits for no man.

i guess part of the reason why i’m trying to pack everything in is because i’m trying too hard to make up for lost time, so much so that i’m not sure if i should take time off to rest or go ahead with filling up my free timeslots. these slots were initially kept free for meetups with friends… but it seems like everyone else is so busy living their own lives i hardly get to meet anyone else nowadays. i’m also not currently seeing anyone. so that explains the free slots. i assure you that i’m not trying to fill them up because i’m feeling lonely, i just feel that there is a need to make full use of my time. just… unsure if i can handle a packed schedule.

there’s something i need to decide on in 3 hours’ time. and when i’m being rushed to make a decision like that, i just can’t seem to think straight. i know it all boils down to how much i want it, but that is precisely the problem – i don’t know. i don’t know how much i want it, yet… and apparently not enough to know if it will be worth it. because it’s long term and it involves a certain amount of money that i will not be able to get back if i backed out halfway.

much as i want to keep everything i have now, i’m starting to doubt my ability to handle all of them.


sometimes i get these comments on my posts like everybody else, and i’m like, “oh it’s probably another spam comment”. but you know what, some of them actually do sound… genuine? so sometimes i’m not sure if it’s someone real actually taking the time off to put down a little comment, or it’s just that i suck at differentiating between humans and spambots. hahaha.

welllll, maybe it’s just me secretly yearning for those comments… right. in all honesty, i don’t write for that. i like to just… have a conversation with myself and sometimes i see light in the process, which is kinda nice and good enough for me.

ok gotta get back to work or it’s no sleep tonight :(

had a couple of days off last week, so i made a trip to Sa Pa with a friend. it’s in north Vietnam, some 9 hours from Hanoi via train, and then about an hour into the mountains by car. according to the hotel staff, the train station in Lao Cai is apparently near enough to the China borders that it is possible to walk over… not too sure about how true it is though.

it’s one of those places that i wouldn’t mind going back to… just to remind myself of how blessed i am.

it was interesting to see how the locals have adapted their lives to the now less intriguing visits by curious travellers – boy am i impressed with the way the villagers interacted with foreigners and the utilization of tourism opportunities! it was commonplace to have children coming up to you and appeal for help. i would have succumbed had i not known better (sometimes researching before travelling does pay off), and i was appalled by how persistent these children were. that being said, the villagers were all really amiable. i’m not sure if all that friendliness was just a cover to sell us whatever products they had on hands or they were naturally warm-hearted people, but i believe that they were sincere in their gestures to welcome us.

weather wasn’t the best we could get, but it could have been worse. i didn’t think it would be that cold (mostly between 7 – 12 degree Celcius), but the locals were all wrapped in down jackets. most tourists i saw, however, made do with what they have and layered their clothing. i only had a thermal top amongst my other tops and a windbreaker, and layering didn’t keep me warm enough. but i didn’t freeze that badly, thankfully. honestly, i felt that a proper pullover with layering would suffice – not sure why everyone else is clad in down jackets. one of the biggest disappointments of the trip was that the mountains were basically shrouded in a thick mist, which hampered everyone’s vision. as such, we didn’t get to see what we wanted to see. i would imagine driving to be a chore in that mist too. due to the intermittent drizzle and rain, certain parts of the trekking paths were really slippery. i gave up using my trek shoes and rented a pair of rain boots from the hotel – that might have been the best use i made of my spendings there. the villagers would walk with us from town all the way to their villagers, offering help along the way, albeit expecting something in return. i could definitely do with some help because i suck at trekking on slippery muddy slopes.

for the first time in my life i got to see actual rice fields. there were moments that made me feel like i was on some kind of geography field trip, but i was thankful i got the opportunity to get this close to nature. the rice fields were kind of a big deal to me, because i’ve always wanted to be in places like these, so here’s one more item checked off my list. i don’t want to live in villages and work in rice fields because their lifestyle is too routine for me. then again, i guess if i had grown up there and never been out of the village all my life, i probably wouldn’t know what else there is to life than all of that.

one of my best takeaways from the trip is getting to know fellow trekkers who signed up for the same trekking package as us. they were all extensive travellers/backpackers from all around the world. i’ve always loved hearing personal life stories from people, and this lovely bunch of people we met were so open to sharing. at times i wished i had their guts to just leave everything for a year or so and go travelling to see the world. but i also am practical enough to know that the society from which i came is not the same as theirs, and the way in which people from my society see it will not be the same as theirs. some things are really easier said than done.

had to stop by Hanoi before flying home again. i was amazed by how people and vehicles from all directions could share the roadsĀ without traffic lights – traffic’s crazy! and the coffee is too good, like probably everywhere else in Viet. i would say that it’s not somewhere i yearn to go to again, it’s just not my kind of place. it might be because i didn’t go bar hopping, but i’m sure i can do that elsewhere.

ENTREPRENEURSHIP is living a few years of your life like most people won’t, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t.

– unknown